December is often the month when CEOs and managers do annual reviews.  These exchanges can be highly energizing, but often they are completely the opposite. And executives often overlook that how you say it is just as important as what you say.

Top 3 Mistakes Most Executives Make with Reviews:

1. You gloss over tough issues that need to be addressed and disguise this lack of         candor as an effort to be kind.
2. You are overly direct and curt, demotivating the person and leaving the individual unsure of whether they really belong or fit in the company.
3. You make the review too complicated.  You have 20 boxes to check and people walk away with a lot of input but no focus on what is most important for success and growth opportunities in the upcoming year.  

While I don’t expect you to radically change the way you deliver reviews, I do challenge you try something a little different this year.  Shift your approach to be less an authoritative boss telling your direct reports what to do and more of a guide, coaching them through the process.

I was walking a senior team through a feedback session on how each team member could improve their overall performance both with the team and with others in their organization.  Two of the senior members of the team got the same feedback - ask more questions and stop “telling” so much.  The key question the two were encouraged to ask of others was, “How can I help you?”  It’s a basic question, and can be asked in ten different ways.  

As a leader, I encourage you to pick a different question below for each person who reports to you.  In one week’s time, ask each of your direct reports the question you chose for them.  Listen carefully without trying to solve the problem right then and there.  Write out a summary of what you learned and report out to your team the next week what you learned.  I bet you will get more engagement, more connection, and more energy than you have seen for a while.  Keep it short and let them know, “Here’s what I learned and here’s what I want to do about it.”  Let the team respond and if you can’t answer an individual’s question right then and there, tell them you promise to get back with them and have an answer.  

Abraham Lincoln’s law partner and eventual biographer said that Lincoln was “a little engine that knew no rest.” In other words, he was ambitious. Ambition is a key that unlocks our drive to make a difference. If you are not ambitious, you will probably not make the sacrifices necessary to channel endless amounts of energy to a productive outcome. And you may miss the opportunity to impact the world.

Ambition evolves in people. In childhood, the ambitious person has natural desires that say “I want to be great,” “I want to be famous,” “I love control,” or “I want others to adore me.” These self-centered drives and fantasies are often the undeveloped roots of ambitious people. For some, these desires never grow to a higher order of development, and as adults, these people become very sophisticated at disguising their true intent for fame, power, adoration, or control.